I love the way I feel...

The wind is strong here. I can hear it whistle in my ears. I open my eyes and look around I feel like I own this place. I can see the horizon, which is not too far than I thought but it’s still far beyond my reach. I close my eyes, to feel this moment, one which I never knew, it existed. I spread my arms to the sky and my shirt flutters to the resisting wind, but my body is steady as a rock.  My feet are cold, not out of nervousness, but it’s the concrete slab below my soles.

It’s time for me to take a step forward. A step towards freedom… from worries and sorrows, from friends and families.. a step away from the opportunity of living life, of taking challenges but then it’s a choice I’ve made.. I suppose. But I think to myself, should it be a step or a leap? Although the destination is the same, it’s the journey that matters. A leap should feel good; I make up my mind. But standing on the edge of the skyscraper, a leap is as difficult as it can get. As I push myself forward, I stumble and lose balance, but recover just in time. I still refuse to open my eyes and I take my posture again with arms wide, head held high and breathing in the fresh air.

I have made up my mind, not to fail this time…  and take a leap and yes, I am floating now. I feel weightless, like my mother’s carrying me in her arms. My eyes are still closed and now feel the gush of air hitting my face. My hair dances to the tune of the wind and I hear the wind, but not as a whistle like before, it hurts my ears leaving them cold. I love this feeling of being light and free. I feel like a bird in the sky, like the fish in the sea … free to go the path it wishes. I am enjoying every moment of this feeling and wish it stays for last.

But good things don’t last forever they say, and so true are these words. The divine feeling has ended finally, as I crash on the hard surface. I bounce and bounce again, then, to lay lifeless in the pool of wine-looking liquid. My head feels heavy, and my eyes are hazy. But I still love the way I feel inside. I can hear some people’s voices from far away but they don’t seem that far. My haziness is turning into darkness and the voices fade away further, but I still love the way I feel… the feeling of freedom…. 

Why Me? Why Me?

Right from the school days,

When many of us never did our home work,

To escape from our teachers eyes, we used to try many ways,

Some used to bunk the classes, some would simply play their luck,

I used to pray hard to save my day,

But the teacher had other plans for me,

I used to get caught, what come may,

My prayers unheard, all I felt was “Why Me?”, “Why Me?”

To buy a ticket, every time I stood in a queue,

Never had I chance to be amongst the first few,

And when finally, when my turn was due,

With counter closing down, I had to move on to a new,

Starting afresh, hoping luck smiles upon me,

And at the back of mind I screamed out loud, “Why Me?”, “Why Me?”

When I got my job, I worked day and night,

Many wrongs came my way, but I always chose the right,

But when the day came to send a team at on-site,

I prayed to God, this time, I wouldn’t have to fight,

But my manager chose someone else, but me,

I wanted to know, Why me? Why me?

I was angry with God, for never favoring me luck,

Be it in school, or the counter or at my work,

There were so many other times, when I felt left out,

I needed a place, where I could go and shout,

Only when I thought all this, I saw a little boy,

He stood by a road side with a bowl, instead of a toy,

Neither could he see, nor could he stand,

His right shirt sleeve had a missing hand,

All this while, I wished I wasn’t me,

Would it be fair to ask God now, “Why Me?”, “Why Me?”

There are many who pray to God for a day, we live,

They wish they could breathe the air we breathe,

Today HE had shown me what I couldn’t see,

My life had a purpose and, I now had an answer to, “Why Me?”, “Why Me?”

License to Sin !!!

On my way back from work one day, I was taken aback about a conversation I overheard in the bus. Two people, who probably knew each other pretty well, spoke about their previous day. They happily chatted, while I smiled to myself listening to them. Their accent was making me smile and it was this that caught my attention about them initially and got listening to them. But then something that one said caught my attention more than before. He happened to share an incident about himself in which he had done something which would be considered a sin in the words of an ethical soul; but this one didn’t regret the deed he had committed. He instead mentioned that, as he believed in the Almighty - a prayer and a hom-havan (offerings) would help him cleanse his spirit. Soon after, it was time for me to get off the bus and leave the gentlemen to their talk.


But as I walked back home, this thought resonated in my mind “Do we have the License to Sin?” We are bound to sin, as humans, willingly or in our own ignorant ways either by thought, word or deed. Whatever the case; Does that give us the right to “Sin”? A relative term, what may be considered a sin to one wouldn’t be one to the other right?! Either ways, we do commit them anyways and once we realize what we have done, we beg for forgiveness. Quite the nature of law, isn't it?
However, the frequency and the means to seek forgiveness vary from one person to the other. In our homes or nearby temples, at mosques or churches or be it a trip to a shrine or a dip in the holy waters, everyone does their own bit to wash away their sins; hoping to be forgiven by their Creator and in the pursuit to cleanse their sinning souls.


I believe that the greatest power one can have is, to forgive. The reason, I use “power”, is because it’s not something people get it from birth or inherit from their ancestors, it’s a “power” one earns.
And the special ones who achieve it, are the ones who attain a special place in not just our hearts but the hearts they touch as they move on. One needn’t look too far for such people, our parents lead by example. They are the first ones to forgive us, for the wrongs we’ve done and probably the wrongs we’ll keep doing. Be it a daily or a weekly, an annual or a once-in-a-life-time affair, whenever we beg to be forgiven. Do we really value this forgiveness? Or have we started taking it for granted? I, like many of us, have been lenient on this aspect. Why is that we value forgiveness only after being punished? I keep wondering.


I finally reached home, tired and exhausted. It was time to go to bed. Even if I go to sleep, these questions will certainly keep my soul awake, asking me time and time again, “Do we have License to Sin?”